Dinner and a Movie

Wadi Rum, Jordan

Call me stupid, but I didn't realize I had a date.

Mohammed came at the convened time at our meeting place. From here he drove West to "the best spot for sunrise and sunset", as he said. It was too fast of a drive for me. I just saw beautiful domes and towers flashing by in the most beautiful warm sunset light. Eventually, we stopped in between some domes and he pointed out one saying "you can take pictures from there and I will make tea".

I ran up and installed my tripod and took some pictures. It wasn't quite what I expected but nevertheless beautiful. Facing West I could watch the sun nearing the horizon and the countless layers of ridges like an endless pallette of gray shades against the light. But there was no picture the other way, one emphasizing the red sand and rock glow.

Eventually, I remembered the tea and started descending. Halfway down I met Mohammed who was coming up with the tea pot and 2 cups. We sat down and enjoyed the tea. "Hmmm, very good" I said. "Special tea for a special friend" was his reply. Why so special I wondered...
After finishing the tea and some chatting he went back down and I went back to my tripod and camera. I stood there until the sun disappeared behind those distant ridges and then descended. He was waiting in the car for me and said we were going for dinner at his cousin's camp. I could also take a shower, he added. Shower? I wondered. Unbelievable what they do for the tourists, like carrying water by truck to the bedouin camps so the tourists can enjoy a shower and flushing toilets in the desert. Now that's a desert experience, for sure, not to mention the a-la-carte meals.
Well, shower was not much of an option for me since I had no change. I was dirty and stinky and had to stay like that. But when we finally reached the camp at dusk and I met the Czech couple staying there I felt embarrassed. I was really too stinky to join them for dinner. And so I went and splashed some water on me and changed my underwear and the dirty shirt against the T-shirt I used to sleep in. A minor change in stench intensity :-)

The dinner was delicious and the Czechs very nice. But after tea Mohammed was in a rush to leave. Back in the car we drove like mad - or so it seemed to me - in the dark to some place next to a big mountain. Mohammed took out a mattress from his car and put it down. Then he sat down and invited me to sit, too. For a while we sat there in silence. The sky was beautiful, the desert magical.
I don't really know how it started, but suddenly Mohammed was talking about enjoying this with a friend and sleeping together. I just caught these last words and interrupted him. "Could you please tell me what you really mean by that?"
"Well, you know like friends, kissing and hugging and sleeping together."
"I'm sorry, but I'm not in for that. This is a mistake. Friends is one thing, sleeping together something else. Plus, I am married."
"No, just like friends, kissing and hugging and sleeping together like this" and he gestured a hug.
I sat there for a second thinking. I tried to think of all my male friends. I have a lot of good and old-time friends and I certainly like hugs, but what Mohammed just suggested was not on my menu.
"I'm sorry, Mohammed, I don't do this. We can be friends and I would like us to be friends but I don't do any kissing or hugging or sleeping together. This is wrong and I feel bad because I probably misled you into thinking this was possible."
"You know, we could spend the night and more time together. I can take you to other places, more remote and more beautiful. I can show you the desert and we could watch the stars together and enjoy."

Interestingly enough I didn't feel scared or anything. I actually didn't feel much but a weird detachment. It was like watching a movie, except for the fact that I was somehow in this movie. This is it, I thought, here goes my solitude and trek. I wanted to be by myself and enjoy the tranquility and beauty of the desert and now I got into this stupid story.

"You know, I think we should go back to camp or to the village. This is wrong", I continued.
"No, no. You don't know what is in my heart. The first moment I saw you I liked you so much, when you arrived in Rum. I longed so much for you, I came looking for you all night. If you don't want or don't feel the same I go back."

There were some more romantic proposals and words, including flying to the moon. Too bad I have nothing left for romance. I felt sorry for him. He was nice and trying to be even more.
"Thank you for everything, I hope to see you again" I said to speed up his departure.
"I don't know," he replied, "my heart hurts so bad. You don't know what's inside me, how it hurts. Maybe I have to go to hospital. My heart..."

I was thankful for the darkness because I could not suppress my grinning at this grotesque image of him having to drive from the desert to the hospital now because of his broken heart. The darkness did not betray me. It was simply too hilarious. But I had to secretly admit that, in all honesty, I did not know what was inside him. Do we ever really know what's inside somebody else's heart and soul?

Eventually he got up and left. I listened to the sound of the engine fading in the distance. Silence took over again but the magic of the night was gone.
My mind was going circles - how did I get into this? Well, for sure I made a big mistake. I misinterpreted his worried search for me at night for the worries of Haya's family. Then I felt bad about it and agreed to meeting him later. That's how it all started.

And then I started to laugh out loud. Here I was in one of the most stunning spots on Earth. This man had offered to spend days and nights with me in the desert gazing at the stars and exploring the desert, to enjoy the peacefulness and beauty of this place. He did not care about my stinking and dirtiness or anything. And I just turned him down. Don't I just deserve my fate? Which other man will ever offer me gorgeous nights under the desert sky ? Who else will ever crisscross the desert late at night looking madly for me ? Maybe search and rescue, if they introduce it here :-)

I had a hard time falling asleep that night. It was more or less a sleepless night, so I read from my Lebanese novel and updated my diary. I did not know exactly where I was, but that did not worry me at all. On the way to here I had noticed the village lights to the right. So I knew I was somewhere South of the village, most likely still in the Rum wadi. What was worrying me more was the fact that my disposition was ruined by now and I wasn't going to be able to enjoy the remaining time here.