A Humble Drama Queen

The second last job I had ended abruptly. For weeks and months there were no clear directions, no managing, no decent requirements but loads of bullshit. Frustration accumulated and disgust. I felt like I was prostituting myself. The salary was not justified in any way, as nothing was being produced, everybody was unhappy, yet nobody dared say anything. We all had well paid jobs and the bills kept coming, of course.
During a conference call with the whole team and managers and some others I had never seen or heard before we were swallowing spoonfuls of yet more bullshit. I spilled over. When the familiar question was asked about our feedback I heard myself saying out loud that I simply don't believe in the project anymore, that I lost any confidence in the management and therefore I quit. There was a long pause on the line. Then my manager said "Ok. Beginning today you are no longer with us." I hung up and felt so damn relieved. And that was it. A co-worker pinged me soon after. "Wow! you're such a drama queen."

I feel I owe an apology. I don't like the drama queen role. And I certainly didn't mean to create drama with my humble writing essays.
The response and appreciative words I received after my last post make me feel somehow guilty and also humble. I don't feel I deserve those many appreciative words. They're definitely more than I can ever take. BUT thank you very, very much for the encouragements!

It's not returning to Vancouver or a job that scares me, but the thought of looking someone in the eyes and stating that I will go with all my heart and energy for that job. 'Cause I know I most likely won't. I can't even control my brain to stick to a task. And, believe it or not, the two of them, heart and brain, somehow follow each other. At least in my case :-)